Coaching is a term that is sometimes taken out of context. So, what is it really? It is guided discovery. It helps others reflect, think critically, and problem-solve. It is, in essence, a style of leadership characterized by asking questions. Through coaching, you are teaching others how to make their own good decisions and solve their own problems rather than telling them what to do.
How Good is Your Coaching?
Ask yourself these questions, and rate each on a scale of one (lowest) to five (highest), and this will give you a baseline of how you are doing currently.
If someone comes to me with a problem to solve, do I take the time to coach them toward their own solution rather than telling them what to do?
Do I know how to ask good questions to guide people to come up with their own solutions?
Do I believe that others can learn and grow with coaching and effort?
If someone comes to me with a problem or issue, do I coach them rather than give advice?
When I am speaking with others, do I give them my full attention and listen to the whole message they are communicating?
How to Be a Good Coach
Establish a foundation of trust.
To be an effective coach, you must have a foundation of trust. If the person you are coaching doesn’t trust you, they aren’t likely to share much, and the relationship will not be effective.
Have a growth mindset
Researcher, Carol Dweck, says that people adhere to one of two mindsets—a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. People with a growth mindset operate under the belief that they can improve their intelligence and talents with passion, training, and deliberate effort—and that others can do the same. Coaching is all about the growth mindset.
Ask good questions.
As I mentioned earlier, coaching is a leadership style marked by asking questions. To be a good coach, you need to be skilled at asking open-ended questions.
Listen actively.
You must listen well to be a good coach. This means listening actively to the other person - giving them your full attention by minimizing distractions, using your body language and non-verbals, paraphrasing, tuning into what they aren't saying verbally, etc.
Hold back from fixing and giving advice.
We like to fix and give advice. However, to be a good coach, you have to resist the urge to do this right away and move into coach mode by being curious and asking questions.
Coaching Questions
Effective coaching questions are open-ended questions that begin with what, how, who, where, and when. It’s best not to start a question with ‘why’ as it may put the other person on the defensive. Below are some questions you might use to start a coaching conversation:
How can I help you?
What’s on your mind?
Or if they share a particular issue during a conversation or come to you to solve a problem –
What are your thoughts on that?
According to the book, The Coaching Habit, the best coaching question is “And what else?” And you just keep “and what else-ing until they run out of responses.
Some additional questions I recommend are in alignment with the GROW model for coaching.
Goal - What would you like to achieve? Help them make it a SMART goal (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound).
Reality – What is the situation currently?
Options – What could you do to reach your goal?
Will – What will you do to move forward? How can I support you? When will we follow up?
This is a lot to digest. How do I start? I suggest restraining yourself from being so quick to fix and give advice-and be curious and ask open-ended questions. If someone comes to you wanting you to solve a problem, ask them what they think before you share your solution.
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From Boss to Coach - The #1 Way to Elevate Employee Retention & Engagement | InfluenceHR (influencehrconsulting.com)
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