The term emotional intelligence is thrown around a lot. Do you really know what it means?
Here’s a definition:
It is the ability to recognize and understand emotions in ourselves and others, and then use this awareness to manage our behavior and relationships.
Unless you are the nutty professor or a superstar researcher who works alone, emotional intelligence is probably more important than IQ in your job. The good news is that, unlike our IQ, we can improve our emotional intelligence with awareness and effort.
Core Components
The core components of emotional intelligence typically include:
1. Self-awareness: Understanding your emotions, strengths, and weaknesses, and how they affect your behavior and decisions.
2. Self-regulation: Once you are self-aware and know your strengths, weaknesses, and triggers, you are better able to control and redirect negative emotions and keep your cool under pressure.
3. Empathy: Understanding and considering the emotions of others.
4. Social skills: Interacting well with others and building healthy relationships through skills such as communication, teamwork, and conflict management.
How Emotionally Intelligent are You?
If you display these behaviors, you probably have opportunities to improve your emotional intelligence.
Become overwhelmed by emotions and have trouble managing them
Have trouble with giving and receiving feedback
Blame others for problems
Don’t deal with conflict well
Dismiss the emotions of others
This short self-assessment will help you assess where you are in your emotional intelligence journey.
Top 5 Ways to Improve Emotional Intelligence
Of course, it depends on the individual's needs but my top 5 tips to improve emotional intelligence are below:
Improve your self-awareness by taking assessments, reflecting on your emotions, soliciting feedback from others, and identifying your strengths/weaknesses/triggers.
Practice the pause when you are feeling stressed or emotional so you can respond rather than react. I use the COPE acronym for this purpose. C - Catch yourself when you are feeling stressed or emotional O - Observe what is happening in your body and your mind P - Practice the pause E - Evolve from your initial reaction
Work on becoming more empathetic by listening attentively, asking open-ended questions, and being aware of others' reactions and non-verbals.
Elevate your communication and conflict management skills through training, mentoring, and practice.
Practice mindfulness as it helps you stay present, reduce emotional reactivity, reflect, and pause before responding impulsively to situations.
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